Fiber, graham crackers, and other notes of middling to no interest!

 I've republished my psyllium gluten free baking book as the 'Happy Fiber Book,' with a little synopsis on fiber (exciting, I know!) to make it more palatable to the fiber community (if there is such a thing) or for those who like whole grains but haven't a clue about gluten free baking.  There are a couple new recipes in both along with a new cover, as well as updating the haphazard guide.  Also the graham cracker recipe is missing 1/2 cup brown sugar and becomes a nice pliable dough instead of a semi-liquid with the psyllium.

Boldy going where apparently nobody has ever gone before? Making bread specifically to make croutons!

 There are very few things you can't find on the internet, one of them is obscure acoustic guitars last made in the late '70s, another is apparently the egregious sin of making bread specifically to make croutons.  To most people, croutons are best procured pre-made by the modern industrial food complex.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Most people don't make their own bread, let alone their own croutons.  Or they have some leftover bread they want to use up before it turns into a rock or grows penicillium mold and is therefore no longer organic (sorry, science joke!).  But why on earth would you go to the trouble of making bread and then turn around and 'ruin' the wondrous creation by turning it into croutons?  The simple answer is dietary necessity!

I love commercial croutons, they are cheap and tasty, but alas, due to dietary restrictions I can no longer eat them.  There are probably some really good gluten free ones out there too, but I can't afford them and they likely contain stuff I can't eat anyway.  The other issue is that gluten free bread has to be eaten warm or toasted, which is great if I'm at home and need a meal, but what happens when I'm road tripping or working a twelve hour shift somewhere that makes our semi-wild road trips look urban and civilized?  I need something I can eat on the trail, in the car, or in the barn that doesn't taste worse than the plastic bento box I pack it in.  Chips and crackers and I don't really get along and packing gluten free bread is a drag, especially on my appetite, ugh!  Then I remembered croutons.  So yes, to me they are a vital necessity when away from home (and a great snack when I'm there too!).  I often had bits and pieces of gluten free bread products I wanted to use up anyway but lately that hasn't been the case, so can I make bread just to make croutons?  Is there something I can do to streamline the process?  Google wasn't helpful in the least, but I remember life before the internet, so I thought maybe it was possible, even if the interweb failed to agree with me.

I took a rimmed baking sheet, sprayed it with cooking spray, spread out my usual bread dough in it, so it was about 1 cm thick and then covered it and let it rise.  I then baked it until golden brown and solid.  I let it cool on a wire rack then cut it into 3/4 inch squares, tossed them with butter, bouillon, and garlic pepper, and then toasted them until crunchy in my ninja foodi.  Yes, you can make bread just to make croutons!  Take that google!

Requisite Christmas Music Review!

  So someone else beat me to the punch this year, but happily he didn't write about the musicality of the season.  Check out his article on the storied ghosts of Christmas here, much recommended!  I know Charlie Brown really tried to get the true meaning of Christmas, but it's depressing.  I know the Grinch hinted at it, but the roast beast just doesn't cut it.  Even my local Christian radio station seems to be missing the boat, literally playing things like "Let it snow' and "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" endlessly but ignoring the many great sacred classics save an occasional instrumental nod from the Trans-Siberian Light Orchestra, at least there's no Santa Baby, that's a plus, right?  It sounds more like a seasonal mall sound track than anything else, especially a Christian station at Christmas!  While I don't mind that stuff, sadly, like Charlie Brown, I am more than a little frustrated with our whole culture focusing on the tinsel and the glitz and ignoring the glaring ache that this season entails for many.  It seems we can either be insipidly happy or alone in our grief which often manifests as anger towards the season in its entirety.

But if you hate Christmas because you hurt, you aren't alone!  It is a problem native to all humanity, not just the modern post-christian west, our problem is the same as the ancient pre-christian east or even the insipidly pseudo-christian America of our nostalgic recollection.  While Charlie Brown thinks he hankers after that nostalgic, idyllic ghost of Christmases past, there is no such history, no such reality, because that has never been what Christmas has been about nor is it the ache that haunts his heart like Marley in Ebenezor's bed chamber.

Many of the secular Christmas haters are happy to proclaim that Jesus wasn't really born on December 25th and that we're simply recycling an old pagan holiday, and I'm most happy to agree with them, and their point is?  Men have always been religious, keenly interested and much afeared of the supernatural, at least until our materialistic modern age with its electric lights to forever drive off the dark of superstition and the utter night of ignorance, thinking we are quite something, as if we invented the physics behind the phenomenon, content in our assumption that it 'just happened,' and never questioning the Light behind our light and little realizing that by blinding their own eyes thereby, they are now the ignorant!  That is why we demand a Light in the darkness, and celebrate its coming at the darkest time of the year, not because we know Jesus was born on that particular day but rather that His coming at the appointed time relieved the spiritual darkness in which the whole world languished and we celebrate the fact as his first coming at the darkest time of the year.

But our problem is we forget why we celebrate His coming, yay a baby, a light of the world, but why is that significant?  His birth, while miraculous and marvelous and bright, is nothing, does nothing, rather it is His sinless life, His atoning death, and His conquering of death and darkness and sin forever by rising again to new life that we can sing and rejoice and make merry this time of year and all the year long!  But we'd rather sit with our glitz and jingle, aching inside, making merry without, and wondering why we can't be happy when everybody else seems to be as well.

This is where the great sacred Christmas hymns come in, look past the first well known verse or chorus or the haunting instrumental and delve into the depth, the mystery, the sorrow, the joy, the meaning of this babe's incarnation, the very word made flesh.  Only therein can we find meaning and true joy in this paradoxical season of utmost joy and aching loneliness and unrelenting sorrow, only in Him can all find their true 'comfort and joy.'  Santa and Grinches are fine and fun, but let us not forget the true meaning behind it all!

I fell in love with a smoker...well, actually it is a grill with a bad habit! A review of the Ninja Outdoor Smoker/Grill

 I don't grill.  Too much work and fuss and mess for usually unreliable results.  A propane grill is expensive and doesn't add much flavor.  A charcoal grill is time consuming and fussy.  And actually getting into the smoker craze looks a bit intimidating.  I remember charred, dry burgers from my childhood.  Steak that was burned on one side and raw on the other.  No thanks!  Did I mention we have winter here: feet of snow and negative temps and lots of wind?  

A year or two ago a distant relation made supper on an electric grill, and we briefly looked into getting one, but never bit, it wasn't all that different than stovetop or broiler.  I did buy a ninja foodi (pressure cooker/air fryer combo) last summer and have been super happy with that, but a grill?  Then ninja decided the world needed their own version, and I was curious, but the price was a bit steep.  I kept an eye on it but even on sale it was around $300.  But I finally found a basic version (refurbished) for significantly less and  gave it a try.

It is an electric grill with a smoker function used solely to impart flavor, the heat is all electric.  I bought it in November (we had a foot of snow the week before Halloween but strangely moderate temps after that). I've used it weekly (including temps in the 20s F) since.  I think I'm in love again, if one can have an affair with a kitchen appliance.  Like the foodi, it has a plethora of functions, but you pretty much only use it for grill or smoker, like the foodi is either pressure cooker or air fryer and you don't use the other settings.  I tried the air fryer but wasn't impressed, I'd rather do it in the foodi.  I also haven't used the smoker setting on a long low temp yet, instead I stuck a 7 pound pork butt in the pressure cooker for an hour and then smoked it for an hour and the results were pretty good without having to cook it in the smoker for 6-8 hours.  

It is small and portable, but it is also large enough to do quite a bit of meat at one time.  Clean-up is a snap and you don't have to stand there watching the thing, just check it every so often, turning as needed, which is why I can use it in December!  It gives a nice smoked flavor to things but isn't a true smoker, this won't replace your Traeger but it is a nice option for beginners and the timid or people with limited space/time.  It cooks fast, food comes out tender and juicy (I do brine my meat which probably helps as well), and it is simple, easy, and fun to use.  Definitely a great investment, especially for the first time griller/smoker!

Pressure cooker stew!

 Now that I'm officially a 'sports-mom,' (please see my former post on our new status as a hunting family!), I need a good way to use up all that venison we now own, what better way than a hearty venison stew on a cold, dreary November afternoon, hunting or not, ready in a relative jiff thanks to the pressure cooker!  But you can use pork or beef too.  The veggies and broth and seasoning are also completely modifiable.  You can go from raw meat and veggies to savory, thick stew in about an hour or less (5 minutes to sautés the meat and onions, 15 minutes to build up to pressure, 10 minutes to cook, 15 minutes for natural release) instead of several hours or even all day!

1-2 pounds pork, beef, or venison cut into 1" cubes

1 pound potatoes (skin on or peeled, as desired) cubed

1 pound carrots cut into bite size pieces

1 small onion, chopped

1 stalk celery cut up into bite size pieces

2 cups beef broth

2-3 Tbsp soy or Worcestershire sauce

2-3 Tbsp oil

salt, garlic pepper, basil, thyme, parsley, etc. to taste

1-2 cups water, if needed

3-4 Tbsp cornstarch and 1/4 cup cold water (mix together after cooking is finished and add to hot broth) 

Could also add tomato sauce or canned tomatoes, garlic, peppers, etc. with the root veggies, add soft/already tender veggies like peas or mushrooms or corn with the cornstarch, stir in after cooking!

Either in the pressure cooker pan or on the stove top (if yours isn't so equipped), sauté the meat and onion (and garlic if using) in oil until browned on all sides.  Scrape up all the drippings and brown bits and make sure it gets into the pressure cooker pot.  Add all ingredients except cornstarch/water and tender/delicate veggies (if using) and mix.  The extra water is if you need more liquid to make your pressure cooker run, the liquid should only come 2/3 of the way up veggies/meat, you don't want to dilute the flavor!  Season as desired and close the lid.  Pressure cook on high for 10 minutes, then allow to sit for 15-25 minutes before opening the valve.  Once you open the pressure cooker stir in the cornstarch/water and any tender veggies, stir and close the lid for a few minutes to activate the cornstarch.  Open the lid and stir well, should be ready to serve!

An unlikely sportsman!

 It was just another day: laundry, pick up kids, gut a deer, make supper...wait, what?!  I don't know about your neck of the woods, but around here hunting doesn't mean stalking the clearance aisle at Target, it is sort of a regional epidemic.  We actually have people driving hundreds of miles to do just that, my favorite story was the guy from Alaska (moose, wolves, grizzly!) who came out here to hunt doves (?!).  Pheasants are popular but it is deer season that really gets the locals enthused.  We aren't a hunting family.  We live in town, we don't own a gun, neither of us ever went hunting as kids, basically we didn't have a clue.  But we wanted our kids to take hunter safety, sort of like swimming lessons but for things that go boom, so if they ever did want to hunt, they could get a license.  I never took it, not sure if I ever will, but like swimming lessons, it is a good thing to learn (and get out of the way) as a kid.

I didn't realize that once your kid took it he could qualify for a youth deer license.  And my youth (aged 11) was interested in getting one.  This was back in June, and as the deadline was approaching, I figured at worst we'd be out $30.  There were so many things against him actually getting a deer: clueless parents, nowhere to hunt, no rifle to go hunting with, we had a family vacation planned for half of the youth season, he'd never shot a large gun before (air rifle doesn't count!), I didn't think he had the grit to actually kill a deer (he's a soft-hearted nature lover and irritated that people kill his beloved ducks!).  So he got his antlerless whitetail permit and we had to figure out if we could actually even try this peculiar autumnal ritual.  The local farm store ran a good sale on deer rifles so after consulting some friends, we purchased one, we were halfway there.

The next question was where and who?  We knew people who have land so that was easy enough to settle but who?  Usually it is the dad who takes the kids hunting, but though our dad had had hunter safety and had fired a gun a couple times, he had about as much idea how to do this stuff as I did.  And strangely, I was possessed of professional skills that might be useful in this particular case.  I was pretty good at cutting stuff apart (usually a cow that had been dead for two days) to see why it died, I was probably the most qualified to take care of the deer if we actually got one.  And while I've never hunted with anything but a camera, I've spent a good portion of my life in the woods and understood animal behavior (another professional plus).  So lucky me got to be the hunting mom!  I didn't know a thing about guns, I couldn't tell a shotgun from a rifle.  I had used a BB gun and a tranquilizer pistol but not a big mean gun thing.  Guess I'd have to learn and it really wasn't rocket science.  We bought some fake bullets (Snap caps) and both practiced loading and 'firing' the thing until we were comfortable.

I had made some 'camouflage' for out spring duck photography trips out of some ugly shower curtains and old sweatshirts (an arm transplant!) so figured we could sit in a couple canvas chairs and hide under that.  We had never tested it before and it actually worked out pretty good, we went out two days during September during the youth season and the second day two gorgeous bucks came right out of the woods on top of us, probably 25 feet away, they just stood there for 5 minutes staring at us, not really knowing what we were but knowing it was weird but apparently not a threat (they didn't run) before continuing on their way.  We froze and could only admire them, our hearts pounding in our throats.  Any movement would have spooked them and we had an antlerless tag anyway, these boys were not on the menu!  Lesson #1: Don't park yourself right on a game trail, find somewhere close but with enough room to shoot.

The first night we had a decent shot at a doe probably at 75 feet, but my poor nervous kid was too anxious to pull the trigger and when he finally did, didn't hit anything but we learned immediately why we should be wearing that hearing protection we brought along!  Lesson #2: Big guns go boom!

That was the end of youth deer season but happily his tag was still valid during the regular gun season (versus an irregular gun season?).  It snowed (a lot) over Halloween and we went trick or treating in snow pants, not looking good for the mid-November deer season, I wasn't going to trek through feet of snow or freeze to death for this.  But the weather warmed up, the snow vanished, and it was about 50F when we went out for day number three.  We found a spot with a good 180 degree view where we were out of sight and wouldn't cause any collateral damage if we missed and set up camp.  Lesson #3: if you know the deer come out an hour before sunset, you don't need to get there right after lunch.

It was a little chilly sitting there in the wind and the kid was getting antsy/bored/cold and was ready to start wandering around looking for stuff, but I told him to sit tight and keep watching, he sat but he didn't do much watching.  A few minutes later I saw a nice doe come running over a distant hill (probably startled by some hunters to the west), dash across the field and into the trees where we were sitting, I poked the kid and made him turn his chair in that direction just in case she came our way.  He sort of looked at me as if he wanted to argue but wisely just did as I told him.  We got settled and waited, a minute later she came slowly through the trees towards us and at 125 feet, turned broadside to head south.  I was watching through the binoculars, it was a perfect shot, nice range, she didn't stop but she wasn't moving fast, and I kept wondering if he'd take the shot.  Then I saw the shot in the flank and wondered if we'd have to track the silly thing, but she leapt three feet in the air, bleated in surprise, turned a somersault and went down, I saw her head up for a moment but then I lost her entirely in the tall grass.  I couldn't tell if my son was trying to laugh or cry, probably both, the adrenaline was certainly high for both of us.  As we stood up to get a better look, I saw another doe 250 feet in the other direction also standing broadside, but she was only there for a few seconds before vanishing into the trees with one of our buck friends in close pursuit!

We cleaned up our stuff and just let her be for 15 minutes and then went to inspect the damage.  She hadn't gotten up or raised her head again, which I took for a good sign.  She must have died pretty quickly, I think he hit an artery in the hindquarter with his flank shot, not bad for a kid who has only fired his rifle once before this!  Lesson #4: practice with rifle before going hunting.

She was a big girl, probably 200 pounds, and now I'd have to see if I knew how to gut a deer.  It was actually much nicer than all those cows I necropsy, mostly because she was 1/10th the size, wasn't covered in flies, and mostly rotten.  The mighty hunter wasn't happy to be asked to help but I certainly couldn't do it alone, and this was his deer!  He held legs or the belly cavity open while I did my thing, and even sans her innards she was heavy, I wasn't sure how we'd get her in the car, but happily our landowner friend had heard the shot and came over to see what had happened, he helped me lift and maneuver our trophy and got us on the road!  I called another friend and said we were incoming, her husband processes deer so they could deal with the rest of the messy details.  Lesson #5: make sure you know some big strong people in case you actually shoot something.

I wasn't sure if my family would eat venison, but I brined it overnight and then fried it in the air fryer and they thought it was great, which is a good thing because we have a bunch to eat!  My mighty hunter was excited but also went to bed in tears, she was a beautiful animal and he has an artistic soul, but he plans on hunting again!  I never really understood this whole hunting thing, it is a lot of money, time, work, and mess, and we don't as a rule like wild game, but that isn't the point.  It is pretty cool to be out there, especially with those you love, and not knowing what might happen, even more so than with a camera, this is life and death pure and simple.  But also to know how deeply those who do it feel about nature and the land.  It seems counterintuitive, but as my weeping minion proved, it can be both/and no either/or.  It isn't just to get a trophy or feed your family (groceries are much cheaper!) or to prove your manliness (which a kid and a woman probably aren't going to do!) but it touches something deep, at the very heart of what it means to be human, to be a steward of creation, because that is what modern hunting is.  Nobody makes money hunting X or Y to extinction in the US these days, no true sportsman could or would, but rather our money goes to support conservation and preserves the very critters we hope to kill.  For every deer killed by a hunter there are 10 more that can live out their natural lives because hunters have taken the time, energy, and finances to encourage conservation and habitat preservation.  Just like a farmer should get a cut of his beef, so too does the sportsman harvest a small percentage of the game he has invested in.  Lesson #6: hunting is kind of cool after all! 

Influencers beware!

 First, read this awesome article.

Second, you may need to reconsider your career choice, I'm looking at you Gen Z, most of whom apparently are going to be either social media influencers or professional gamers if they ever grow up.  The rest of us must 'abandon hope all ye who enter here' or something if this is the future!  But then we all wanted to be astronauts or professional athletes in our turn so we'll probably survive this too, probably.

I'll let the gamers off the hook in this post at least, but you future influencers have a hard row to hoe, as everybody is literally doing it, you have to do more and more outrageous things to attract attention.  It is sort of like the ebook bubble.  Back in 2012 you could make a couple hundred bucks a year with a decent book because it was still a fairly new concept, but now it seems most everyone has an ebook they are trying to hawk and if I make ten bucks per annum I'm doing great, and I have 40+ books on the market!  Now people are setting themselves on fire, committing crimes on video and other crazy stuff just to be seen.

Compare that to the above article.  Now go rethink you life!